I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
