Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
