My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
