They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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