my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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