Welp...herpes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize