just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize