Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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