i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
