We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
