theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize