Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
