I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
