Pappa wants mamma naked
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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