Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I AM VODKA MAN
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
