the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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