ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
