so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
