My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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