Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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