so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
