He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
