My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
