Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize