This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
