How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
