i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How external is "for external use only"?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
