census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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