atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
