i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
