awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
