Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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