While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
