when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
