it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
