He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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