singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
