Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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