My friends, they love my intelligence
Small penises have feelings too.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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