sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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