Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
