So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
