If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
