oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
