I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize