It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
