apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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