Whod you bang
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize