Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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