When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
