Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
