is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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