so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize