eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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