One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
