I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
