apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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