i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize