i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
