the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
