Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so let's talk penis.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
