Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
