quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
