I just saw a hot homeless man
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
