Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
