Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
