Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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