Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize