About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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