K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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