remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
