You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize