Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
pray to the hookup gods
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
